


Lost and Found and Found Again

by theloneliestcroissant



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Gen, Homophobic Vase, Original Statement (The Magnus Archives), Quote: Statement Begins (The Magnus Archives), Statement Fic (The Magnus Archives), The Vase
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:15:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27427792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theloneliestcroissant/pseuds/theloneliestcroissant
Summary: A statement regarding the continued adventures of the homophobic vase before the Eyepocalyse. Featuring Jonathan Sims as a cranky old non-believer and Tim Stoker as the icon he is (happy kayaking Tim).
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	Lost and Found and Found Again

[CLICK]

ARCHIVIST  
Statement of Mitchell Bishops, regarding a vase purchased from an unknown antiques store. Original statement given October 14, 2013. Audio recording by Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, London.

Statement begins.

ARCHIVIST (STATEMENT)  
It’s not my fault, really. I know it’s not my fault, but I still feel somewhat responsible. I’m not sure why, I wasn’t even the one to buy the thing. I’m sorry. I should start from the beginning.

I’m from just outside Leeds, but I moved to London a few years ago with my wife and daughter. I swear I did, regardless of what the records might say.

You see, my daughter got into King’s College and we wanted to move to be closer to her, and so she didn’t have to pay the ridiculous rent prices you have in this city. And by “we” I mean my wife. She wasn’t too keen on the whole separation thing, and I don’t think being an empty nester would have suited her all that well. She’s a nurturing type, she is, and with our other daughter off on some exchange program she would have been lonely at home alone during the day while I was off at work. So we moved south and I had to get a new job. But that’s the one upside of London, construction is everywhere.

Back to why I’m here. It’s not my fault, like I said. If it was anyone’s it was my wife’s. I mentioned that she didn’t do so well with the whole separation thing. Sure, we were in the city with Lizzy, but she stayed out late and would stay at friends houses for a night or two. College stuff. I wasn’t too worried, but my wife was clearly missing her, she didn’t want me going out with the crew for drinks and leaving her in the flat alone. I love her, I really do, but I need a break sometimes too.

I told her she should try getting out of the flat more often, you know, see the sights, go shopping or whatever. That seemed to help. This one time she went to an antiques place around the corner from the flat. Seemed to like all the junk in there, though I can’t imagine why. Personally I don’t know why you’d want some dusty old lamp someone else owned, but as long as she was happy.

She went a few times before she actually came back with something. It was a vase. Not the kind you’d put flowers in, but like oriental or something. At least I assumed it was oriental because that’s what Lizzy’s degree was in. Modern Southwest Asia or something. My wife said she got it as a present for Lizzy, to liven up her room. I know she was just doing it in the hopes that Lizzy would want to stay at home more if her room was more like her one back in Leeds, cluttered, but I didn’t think it would work. She was off at college and had friends that were more interesting than her parents. I said as much to my wife, but she got all teary-eyed and insisted that Lizzy was just getting used to a new city and would settle eventually.

Lizzy did end up coming back a few days later. She loved the vase, but she decided to put it on the kitchen table like some kind of centrepiece so we could all enjoy it. Between you and me, I didn’t like it. I’m not an artistic person, but there was something about it that didn’t sit right with me. The blue was just...too blue. That doesn’t sound right but I don’t know how else to describe it. It gave me a bit of a headache to look at. The women thought I was exaggerating, and the vase remained on the table for the time being. That’s when things started going wrong.

It started with my favourite mug. I now it sound stupid for a grown man to have a favourit mug, but it was a gift from both my daughters for my birthday 9 years ago, and it was the first gift they ever got me with their own money. The memory of that day is so clear in my mind. So when I couldn’t find it I asked my wife where it was. She didn’t know what I was talking about. I know I used it yesterday so I asked if she did the dishes last night. She said no, Lizzy did as a favour.

When Lizzy walked in I asked her about the mug. She didn’t remember it either. I described the mug and she laughed and said that she would remember a thing like that if we had one. I’ll be honest, that made me mad. I thought they were both playing a prank on me. I might have raised my voice a bit. I’m not proud of it, but like I said, it was my favourite mug.

Lizzy started crying. She claimed she didn’t know what I was talking about, that maybe I had lost it in the move or something. I felt bad about making her cry, so I tried to calm down a bit. I said that it was okay if she broke it, I just wanted to know the truth. She cried harder, and still claimed that she didn’t know what I was talking about. I decided to leave it.

The next thing I noticed was the good china. We never used it, so I don’t know how long it was missing before I noticed, but when I did I asked my wife about it and she claimed we didn’t own any china. She would know better, as she’s the one in the kitchen more, but I swear we had a set of fine china for special occasions. I even went looking for old photos of past Christmases, but the one I found we were eating on regular plates. I knew I was sane. I didn’t doubt it for a second. But it sure was weird. I still was half hoping it was all a prank by the women, even though there’s no reason for it.

I started noticing things going missing all the time. My wife probably thought I was losing it, asking for things she thought we didn’t own. It was maddening, having to pretend that everything was fine and it was just work stress or moving to a big city. The final straw was a book of all things. One of Lizzy’s textbooks. She thought she never bought one, but I remember it, it cost £176.47 and that money is still gone from my bank account, so I know it existed. I’ll admit I snapped.

I broke the damn vase. Picked it up and shattered it. I remember the pieces flying everywhere and one getting stuck in my leg. I still have the scar as proof. I went to the bathroom to get the medical kit and patch myself up, but when I got back to the kitchen the vase was gone. No pieces on the floor, nothing. It wasn’t even all back together on the table like out of a horror movie. It was just...gone. I only found out later what it had taken with it.

When my wife got home from grocery shopping I saw she only had enough food for the two of us. I commented that I didn’t know Lizzy wasn’t going to be home tonight, to which my wife asked who I was talking about. I thought she was joking, then I wished she was joking. I don’t think I even yelled that time. I just got up and walked out of the flat.

I called all her friends whose numbers I had. I called Susie, my other daughter, Lizzy’s coworkers from the coffee shop she worked at. I even tried calling the school, but they won't give me any student information. No one remembers her. She didn’t just run away. All her stuff is still here, and regardless she’s not the type.

She’s not in any of our family photos anymore. I think that’s what really confirmed it for me. It isn’t some elaborate joke everyone is pulling on me for not liking the vase. At least I hope it’s not. It’s not my fault, I didn’t know what smashing the vase would do. It’s not my fault, I didn’t buy the damn thing. It’s not my fault. It’s not my fault. It’s not my- _[sigh]_

ARCHIVIST  
Note that the rest of the page is filled in with the same repeated sentence.

Statement ends.

I guess that solves the question of where the vase Mr. Ramao brought to our attention ended up. Mr. Bishops’ description of the physical features seems to be similar, if somewhat less...precise, and the, er, supernatural features also line up with the other statement.

Sasha did a follow up with the address given, but the flat was sold in late November 2013, and there is no record of who sold it, and the family currently living there says the transaction was completed over email with the landlord and they never met the previous owner. The landlord does not have any record of a family by any name living in that apartment since 2011, which she thought was odd, but chalked it up to low demand for housing in the area.

I have to say this does worry me a bit.

The original statement was, while not entirely believable, more credible than many of the statements given to the Institute. That, combined with this new statement a few months later implies that this vase is likely currently in circulation.

It might be best to-

[SOUND OF KNOCKING]

Oh uh, yes, come in.

[SOUND OF DOOR OPENING]

Oh it’s you.

TIM  
I couldn’t help but notice you were talking about the vase again?

ARCHIVIST  
Yes, it- wait. How do you know about the vase? The original recording was lost.

TIM  
Well, the first statement was the one right before the whole worm thing, so it’s kind of ingrained in my memory. You know, Top Ten Statements to Happen Right Before a Disaster kind of thing.

ARCHIVIST  
Right.

TIM  
Anyway, I was wondering if there was a way it chose its victims so I went looking for connections between the two buyers.

ARCHIVIST  
And?

TIM  
And nothing. Bishops is a carpenter from Leeds and Ramao was an antiques dealer. Absolutely no connection. Not even the same bank.

ARCHIVIST  
Oh, well if that’s the case then-

TIM  
Then I started looking at the two victims of the vase. The people who disappeared. Maybe the vase was drawn to them for some reason

ARCHIVIST  
It’s just a vase, Tim. We have no reason to believe that it is malevolent or has intent. It’s more likely that there is someone playing an elaborate joke on people who buy it for some unknown reason.

TIM  
Right, sure. Anyway, the name Lizzy Bishops sounded familiar, but I couldn’t remember why, until my friend’s younger cousin showed me an old post from the blog run by the Queer Newspaper at King’s. She was the head of the paper in 2012, but there’s no other information or a picture on her bio page unlike everyone else. That, combined with the fact that the other guy we know went missing was married to a guy leads me to conclude-

ARCHIVIST  
Tim…

TIM  
-that the vase is targeting gay people. It was cursed by a witch to send us to another dimension along with random household objects.

ARCHIVIST  
Tim.

TIM  
If that’s the case then this whole archive better look out for-

ARCHIVIST  
TIM.

TIM  
What?

ARCHIVIST  
It’s just a vase. It isn’t “targeting” anyone, and it certainly doesn’t have harmful intentions

TIM  
Martin liked my theory.

ARCHIVIST  
Martin also likes spiders, he isn’t what I would consider the paragon of good taste. Furthermore, he was likely just too polite to tell you that your theory is ridiculous.

TIM  
Whatever.

[SOUND OF DOOR CLOSING]

ARCHIVIST  
_[sigh] _I’m a bit worried about Tim. He says he’s fine after the worm incident, but then he goes around spouting theories like that. Is he just joking to ease the tension or is he intentionally trying to throw off the investigation? I’ll have to look into this further.__

Recording ends.

[CLICK]


End file.
